Where Have All The Velvises Gone?

Our apartment here in Los Angeles is.... interesting. Not only does it come with spacious living and dining rooms, but it also comes with peeling linoleum in the kitchen, a heater that is... lets say... finicky, a crazy Russian landlord who is 840 years old and has an affinity for 20-somethings, and ... as it turns out... a bathroom with 1950's style black and sea foam green tile.
So, the one thing that we can embrace of these is the sea foam and black tiling. I mean... If that's your color scheme, there's really only one way you can decorate it. With Elvis. Obviously.
A year ago I made a trip to Memphis with the college girls... and I was on the lookout for a Velvis... you know... a picture of Elvis in the most developed of art forms, painting on velvet. My friend Jess is also a woman of good taste and was helping me look for Velvises (or Velvi as we call them ) as we were there. I was completely shocked that there was not a single Velvis to be found in Memphis... I know ... who knew?
Luckily, a few weeks after Memorial Day my roommate Laura "found"* a large promotional poster with Elvis on it. She of course gave it to me for my birthday and it has been hanging in our bathroom ever since.
But still.... as great as the poster is.... a real life Velvis would be better. Luckily, this Memorial Day I met up with the girls again, this time in Las Vegas. If there weren't Velvi in Memphis, the only other place on this earth you could find one would be Las Vegas, right? Wrong! Once again Jess and I had our eyes peeled hte entire trip looking for velvet artwork. We found wolves carved into planks of wood, but no Velvi.
I'm concerned. Is painting Elvis on a piece of velvet a dying art form? How disappointing! It's a truly American art form.... Like jazz... only.... trashier.
So all you Velvis artists out there... this is a call to YOU.... this is your battle cry! Pick up those brushes! Get the lint roller out.... De-fuzz your velvet canvases!!! Rise UP.... YOU MUST PAINT AGAIN!!!!
My bathroom needs it!

We did, however, find this Elvis quarter machine, which was pretty awesome. As you can see... Jess is rockin' it.






* "found" = "stole off of a store's sign while walking to the car after 1 too many glasses of wine at dinner"